TIPS OF HAPPINESS

 TIPS OF HAPPINESS

 PROF WAQAR HUSSAIN

             Dalai Lama said: “The purpose of our lives is to be happy”. Everyone has the sole destinations to acquire the state of happiness. But the meaning of happiness are different for everyone; for poet it comes by writing a poem;  cricketer scoring a century, a businessman earning dollars, a patient recovering, a person getting rid of a nuisance guest, school boy on announcement of  vacation, woman finishing her cooking, etc. In sum, it is the feeling of inner peace, meeting of inner desire and satisfaction attained at the end of worries, fears or obsessing thoughts.

                Globally, people are loosing happiness. A survey was conducted in 1950’s in USA; 53% reported to be happy but in 1990’s, it came down to 30%. So every third person in USA is happy which is highly educated, economically prosperous, politically stable, socially equitable and above all a super power. What will the plight of poor, developing and backward countries? In this alarming low profile of gladness, one should probe the factor which brings happiness in a society. Also attempt to diagnose the factors which kill the happy moments.

                 1: TRUST: There are only 30% trustworthy people in USA as compared to 60% some 40 years ago. In Scandinavian countries, the level of trust is over 60% and that is why they are the happiest persons on the globe. Trust is an important ingredient of ethics, and originates from love and moral values. How an infant baby laughs when her mother throws him upwards in sky. His trust makes him laugh. Paul young said: “trust is the fruit of relationship in which you know you are loved.” Then trust comes from truth and also ends with it.

                2: ECONOMIC PROSPERITY: Richer individuals tend to be happier than poor ones. Prosperity brings happiness and adversity disrupts it. Jan Austin said: “A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.” In daily life, we see the poor abusing, yelling, fighting, and even killing on the issues where riches pass away smilingly.

                   3: DOING GOOD: Virtues are the best way to assure happiness. People who care about others are happier than those who care less about others.

                 Be a giver, it a divine trait and bring happiness. Once a millionaire came to Sigmund Freud and said: “I am not happy in spite of having too much wealth.” Freud advised him to spend 100 marks, buy flowers and distribute them among children and widows. The millionaire came back to Freud after 2 or 3 weeks and said, “His life had been filled with happiness following your prescription.” You can also try this formula of probity and can witness the blessing of giving. Gandhi said: “Happiness depends on what you can give, not what you can get”. Similarly Ben Carson says: “Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give.”

                  A survey was conducted on blood donors and they were divided into two groups; paid and unpaid. Astonishingly volunteer decided to give blood more frequently. This survey reminded me Lydia M. Child’s words: “An effort made for the happiness of others lifts above ourselves.”

                    4: PHILOSOPHY OF MIND: “Think healthy to live healthy” is and aged long formula. There must be a vivid philosophy of life. Any ambiguity in objectives creates confusion which leads to depression. A survey was conducted in 1960 in USA that showed 65% students had meaningful philosophy of life. In a recent survey, this figure how fallen to 45%.

                     Marcus Aurelius says: “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” A person with clear headed aim and objective leads a pleasurable life. So clarity of thought, objective, and actions are essential to acquire happiness.

                     Mental health is deteriorating all over the world. In Britain, emotional problem are twice as high as were in the 1970’s. New psychological therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy can transform lives. Within a span of 4 months, 50% of depression patient recovered dramatically. A strange experiment was conducted that showed individuals with positive outlook were less likely to get flue when exposed to the virus. It shows mental health strengthen body’s physiology.

                      5: MENTAL ATTITUDE: Mental approach is an essential component to gain bliss. Always be positive and looks at the brighter side of the things as the mind often takes one to negative, darker side. One should undergo mental exercise described by the psychological to train mind to always tilt towards brighter aspect of things. Sometime, one spends all the day successfully, achieving many targeted goals but in the evening instead of feeling satisfied and happy, one looks at what was not carried on and thus feel unhappy. This distress is the out come of faulty approach of mind. On going to bed, never think about the unfinished tasks of the day. If the full day’s work has not accomplished them, then on the bed, nothing can be achieved. So there is no need to get worry. Shed away all tensions and go to sleep with blank mind. It will bring a proper sound sleep which is good for mental well being. Dale Carnegie says: “Happiness doesn’t depend on any external condition; it is governed by our mental attitude.”

                      6. SUCCESS: Success brings happiness surely. Man is always working to get reward. Achievement is the outcome of judgment of circumstances, proper planning, hard work and prayer. Franklin D. Roosevelt said: “Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” If someone doesn’t get success then he should learn lesson from the history which is teeming with the examples of try, try again. For an instant, Edison carried on more than 2000 experiments and finally succeeded in inventing electric light bulb. Failure excites hidden qualities of a man and behind every failure, there is a message that something was missing in the effort. So, there is no need to become pessimistic on failure but prepare you for more valiant and faultless attempt.

                 Have you ever pondered! Why children are happy? Children have innate nature of facing failure and committing follies without any regret. We, the elders, suppose ourselves to be a perfect individuals who never commit any error, thus victory is the only ultimate result for us. In fact, the reality is otherwise. Man is never perfect, flawless, complete and absolute. So: winning or loosing; success or failure; right and wrong-all are the essential and complementary ingredients of human beings. One should always think oneself; a human and keep in mind the Jawaharlal Nehru’s saying: “ Real failure comes only when we forget our ideals, objectives and principles and begin to wander away from the road which leads to their realization”.

                    7. EXPECTATIONS: Expectation brings greater amount of depression and lesser happiness. When your expectation is sky-high, you are destined for disappointment. So always bring your expectations to a pragmatic manageable level. Simone Elkeles has correctly advised:  “Expectation make people miserable, so whatever yours are, lower them. You will definitely be happier.”

                      8. COMPANY OF JOVIAL PERSONS: Happy man’s company brings happiness. A research was conducted which showed that happiness of close contact increase the chance of being happy by 15%. So, a group of sincere jolly friends make life joyful and fill with contentment. Surround yourself with cheerful individuals. It is easy to think negatively in the coterie of negative people. Conversely, if you are enclave by happy people, their buoyant and joyful emotion will trigger your blissful thoughts. Keep in mind, happiness is infectious and pleasant feeling easily contracts the near ones. Oscar Wilde articulates: “some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

                       9. FRIENDS: Friends are the greatest assets and blessing. One can share with them that he cannot with others so they are the gizmo of catharsis. Their help, advice, consolation and criticism are all beneficial in one way or other. So have a company of good friends to ensure happiness. Epicurus believed: “of all the means to insure happiness throughout the whole life, by far the most important is the acquisition of friends”.

                    10. PROBE YOUR INNERSELF: William Arthur Ward said: “Happiness is an inside job.” So, one should understand self desires as every body has his own peculiar needs and requirement for gaining solace and happiness. A thing makes someone happy, it is not necessary that it will do the same to others. Reveal your inner self and visit internal dark recesses of your mind and explore the need of your sub-conscious and then act accordingly to fulfill those needs. About 40% of one’s happiness level is within one’s control. Helen Keller has truly said: “Happiness doesn’t come from without, it comes from within.”

                   11. HEALTH IS WEALTH: Health plays a vital role in attaining happiness. A detail of chemicals which triggers happiness are explained in detail in article: “Happiness; an outcome of chemistry.”

                 Andrew Step tow and Michael Marmont disclosed that happiness is correlated with three biological markers that play a pivotal role in maintaining good health and pleasing mood. They conducted a research survey in London on 216 middle aged persons with a view to find linkage between well being and biological markers; heart rate, Cortisole level and Fibrinogen level in blood. They found unhappy persons had 48% higher cortisole level than the happier ones. They also get to know that unhappy individuals had higher fibrinogen level. Both repeated their research after three years and found that persons with positive emotions had lower cortisole level, fibrinogen level and heart rate. From their research, it can be concluded that happiness is the result of low level of these three biological markers. In another research, Frey disclosed that happy person lives 14% longer and have 7.5 to 10 years move life span. It shows happiness increases longevity and one remembers two old maxims; cat has nine lives and care killed a cat. It means worries have taken life of that animal which was hard to kill. George William Curtis has precisely said: “Happiness lies, first of all, in health”.

                 12. EXERCISE: Exercise is a mood booster and known to release endorphin that gives feeling of happiness. Americans are among the happier nations. One reason behind this joyfulness is their habit of exercise. Once there were 160 members of parliament of Florida, you will astonish to know that 132 were member of different Jims and 28 used to jog daily for an hour. Overall in USA, 98% members of parliament of all states are accustomed to regular exercise. Americans believe that one who does not exercise, is not serious in politics and a politician who doesn’t care himself, how can he care for his country? In a research in USA, a chart of habits of 1000 successful business, they had 23 common habits, you will astonish to know that in 23 common habits, 5th was the habit of exercise. Furthermore, Americans are the most buyers of exercise machines; greatest user of food supplements and had the largest number of Jims. There are special channels for exercise only. In sum, America has almost turned into an exercise industry.

                Other nation, especially, developing should follow suit. Exercise is the best tool to maintain health and ultimately happiness. A famous Urdu writer Shafiqu er Rehman writes in an article: “If you have been failed in examination then undergo pushups soon you will ease out. Similarly, if you are betrayed by your girl friend then go for jogging,… etc.” Probably he was aware of the importance of physical exercise and had come to know its effects on human mind.

              13. NOVELTY: Novelty is the key of happiness. Man often get bore due to monotony. The brain stimulates by surprise, unexpected scenario, new ideas and novo stuff. Pliny says: “Human nature is greedy for novelty”. South says: “Novelty is the great parent of pleasure”. So, one should get ride of routine practices and indulge in new activities to quench the thirst of newness oriented mind.

                 14. BE SATISFIERS, NOT MAXIMIZERS: Be satisfiers, not maximizer. There are two types of decision makers; Satisfiers who make decision on the criteria they set themselves. When they find the hotel that has the qualities they want, they are satisfied. They are selective in their approach. However, maximizers want to make best possible decision, near to perfection and follow the principle of aristos(the best possible decision). If they find the hotel having requirement they need, they still search for an ideal hotel and search every available option. Their too much anxiety about perfection makes there unhappy. In fact, nothing is complete in all respect and lacuna is a universal principle. Rather one should go for his need which can be fulfilled.

                     15. HEALTHY FOOD: Food is an important factor of happiness. Improper food leads to a wide range of maladies and thus opens the gate of worries. Food is not just to fill stomach or to appease the lust of tongue. One should follow Chinese criteria of good food: tasty, good looking and have valuable effects. Food can be classified into two group according to their ingredients; energy provider (carbohydrate, protein and fat) and body regulator (vitamins, minerals, water and fiber). Among regulators vitamins and minerals are essential for brain chemistry and body’s proper functioning. Both are complementary part of all biochemical pathway which leads to synthesis of neurotransmitters which help to determine our mood. Fruits, vegetables, milk, egg yolk, liver, cod liver oil are rich in vitamins and minerals. The person who eats vegetable, fruits and milks have pleasant mood due to his proper physical strength.

                   16: BALANCED IN ACTIVITY: Art Book Wild, one of the most read columnist of USA, said: “A man comprises of three things; Body, mind and soul. We undergo exercise to keep body healthy; we read to sharpen brain but we usually forgets soul. We do nothing to enliven and sharpen it. In spite of the fact, the roots of our body and mind are pegged in soul. I am not a religious man but I consider ‘exercise’ to be meditation of body; ‘study’ the meditation of mind and ‘philanthropy’ the meditation of soul. I spend money, earned from 450 newspapers, on my personal life whereas spend money, got from 150 newspapers, in charity, I award scholarship to students, free treatment, manage homeless people and help calamity hit victims. This is my meditation and I am a very happy person.” So, there must be a balance in the activities of body, mind and soul to ensure happiness.

                17. SELF TRAINING: William James, psychologist and disciple of Sigmund Freud, said: “ with every emotion of man, an action is related. For example, If he is in sorrow, he weeps; if happy, he laughs; in anger, shouts; in love, kisses; in fear, ran away, etc. He further adds that if a man can revert and repeats action related to any emotion. After a few minutes, that emotion will emerge. For example, if someone starts shouting and poses to be in anger sooner he will be really in rage. If someone acts as if he is happy and starts laughing. Sooner his mood will be transformed pleasant and joyful.”So, one can undergo training of molding one’s mood and should practice posing of happiness. Out of the 50% happiness level, 10% are affected by circumstances and 40% on self control according to Sonja Lyubomirsky

                18. MEDITATION: Meditation has been found to bring high activity in the brain’s left prefrontal cortex which in turn has been found to correlate with happiness. Philosophers are of the view that man feels hiatus, even after attaining all worldly things and this lacuna can only be filled by meditation. Meditation shifts responsibilities and liabilities of a man towards The Greater Being and lessen his burden. Meditation also evokes hope of well being and this hope generates happiness. Goethe says: “In all things it is better to hope than to despair”. Meditation also eliminates fear of man. Fear of losing life, honor, property, health, etc is attached to every individual. Every body owes some kind of fear and thus it blocks the flow of happiness. The best way to ward off unknown fear is the subjugation to God .According to M. Gandhi: “Let us fear God; and we shall cease to fear man”.

                   A research was conducted on psycho patients, divided into two groups; those who were in habit of adoration in the midnight .Other were away from any kind of meditation. Doctor found accelerated recovery in patient fond of Divine Service .Meditation not only enrich a person spiritually but also regulate his mind and body, thus fill his life with happiness. The Quran says:” The remembrance of God brings peace in heart.” God is man’s need that is why Voltaire once said: “If God doesn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”

19: ACTIVITY Once I read a journal of psychology when I was doing B.Sc from F.C. College Lahore and line, of a happiness related article, struck in my mind. It was, secret of happiness is activity. From that day, I started enjoying by adopting appropriate activities. I started to visit Laurence Garden (Bagh-e-Jinnah) during spring. The towering green trees, fragrant colourful flowers, singing birds, multi-colored tiny insects, exercising athletes-all amused me by one way or other. Later, I kept on adopting different activities to bring joy. Even in phases of loneliness, I started playing card game “patience” and so on. I will advise you to adopt any apposite activity either recreational or occupational. Thomas Jefferson analyzed: “It is neither wealth nor splendor; but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness.” Further there is an Urdu adage: Farigh dimagh sheetan ka ghar hotta hay (idle mind is the abode of the devil.) Aristotle prudently said: “Happiness is a state of activity.”

                20. RELIGION: Religious people are mostly happy. It may be the result of community membership, harmony of ideology, sense of congregational security, rituals, belief in religion, good deeds, etc. Meditational aspect of religion has already been discussed.

             Religious doctrine describe different recipe for happiness. For example a famous Muslim saint Iman Ghazali wrote” alchemy of happiness” containing a manual of spiritual instruction to attain peace and tranquility. His recipe is being practiced widely in the Muslim world.

                 In Bhuddhism, the acquisition of happiness is the prime object after getting freedom from suffering. It advises the noble Eightfold Path to reach a state of everlasting peace which they refer as Nirvana.

                  Thomas Aquinas says that man’s last end is happiness and it could only be achieved from virtues. Natural law and divine laws are caused by God.

               Chinese thinker Mencius was convinced that the mind played a mediating role between the lesser self (psychological self) and the greater self (moral self) and that getting the priorities between these two would lead to saga-hood.

               Aristotle believed that happiness is the practice of virtue. Similarly George Washington said: “Human happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected.” For me: “there is micro octave (note of music) of an individual and macro octave of nature, both must synchronize by constructive interference to become a perfect duet of melodious song of true, real and everlasting happiness.”

                21: AVOID AWFUL CHARACTERS: Abominable characters are present in every society. They are negative, insatiable, criticize bluntly, put remarks ruthlessly, talk only about your weak aspects, spread distress and emanate negative magnetic waves, thus in a jiffy, they can turn a laughing individual to a morose one. There is only one viable solution for such people to hire a taxi and drive far away or make your self strong and shut their mouth without loosing your temperament and jolly disposition. Brain L Weiss advises: “you become vulnerable and can easily hurt when your feeling of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else.”

                  22. LOVE, LOVE AND LOVE: Love other and they will love you. Love is the strongest factor of happiness. You feel happy in your family as they love you. You feel happy in you friends because they love you. You feel happy in your country as your countryman loves you. So live to love and you will love to live. Do you know love has no tongue, yet it can talk; love has no voice, yet it can be heard; love has no body, yet it can be seen; love has no fragrance, yet it can be smelt and love has no warmth, yet it can be felt?.... Love emanate through the sixth corridor of sense.

                George Sand has endorsed my view point, he says: “There is only one happiness in this life; to love and be loved.” So, right from today adopt aged long slogan in letter and spirit: “Love for all, hatred for none.” Be a spring to gush out the water of love and people will pay back in the same coin and you will be happy. Sri Chinmoy says: “I am very happy because I have conquered myself and not the world. I am very happy because I have loved the world and not my self.”

               23: FIRST ENDURE THEN FORGET: Forget the things which are beyond your control. In life, you encounter many issues, situations and events for which you have no answer. There are two responses to such awful happening; one is to keep on beating you chest and cry. Other is to try to endure and forget .Which cannot be cured; must be endured. Both responses are painful and agonizing but the latter is bit lesser.

              24: SELIGMAN’S FORMUL: Psychologist Martin Seligman summarized tools of happiness in acronym PERMA (pleasure, engagement, relationship, meaning of life and accomplishment.) Apparently the formula looks marvelous, let have a try!

              25: U SHAPED PATH OF HAPPINESS:

              Happiness follow U shaped path during the life cycle. One is happier when young and old and least happy in middle age. In the prime of youth, one is brimming with hopes, emotions, ambitions, energy and achievements are great so one’s spirit soars sky high. In middle age, responsibilities, liabilities and objectives remain the same but hope, emotion, ambition, energy, etc. start to decline. That is why a person becomes unhappy.

                 Man takes long to realize the fact and accept the truth that he is not younger and juvenile as before. Until realization, one remains in doldrums and distress. Then nature forcibly tells him the reality. When one grew old, one has no powers, no responsibilities, no accountability, no ambitions, etc. One just has to kill the time by different engagements. Above all one realizes a bigger truth that life is transitory, and we are just travelling on train through the cities of life; thus seeing, observing and analyzing become the sole goal of life. Man starts examining every thing happening around him with great zeal and zest and ultimately gets highest level of happiness .And we all knows finishing bites of chocolate taste more. So he starts enjoying every bit of life.

                   Be a human always thing that you are a human being and you will feel happiness and sorrow; solaces and pains; respect and insult; acceptance and rejection; good and bad; health and disease; right and wrong; best luck and hard luck, etc .Once Hasina Moin, a famous Urdu drama writer said, “Life is a long journey through unseen paths, where you encounter sweat water spring and filthy puddles. You have to drink a sip from both.” This is the realization one has to develop and it ensures you greater happiness’s and awards you courage to face the odd situation.